Because it's my last finals week...without the finals part

This weekend, I made sure to bring all of the necessary notes with me so that I could work on my last real assignment of my college career (I hesitate to say "undergraduate", I keep going back and forth with that idea in my head). But of course, I didn't get any sh*t done. I guess I'll never learn I never learned - I can say that now! Haha. Anyways, this blog has been pretty stagnant as of late, but I don't really want to blame it on lack of time or being too busy with finals/graduation/that biz. Honestly, I couldn't have asked for an easier quarter to ride out the rest of my time here at UCI.

I guess I haven't blogged in a while because I honestly don't have anything to say. As I approach the end of a big chapter in my life, I wish I'd have real insightful things to say, but actually I'm feeling a little numb right now. I think all of the anxiety/relief/happiness/sadness just cancels each other out and I'm left just feeling a little blank. I don't want to put too much out there right now until I can actually articulate my thoughts. I don't want to look back to read this and go "I freaking graduated, and that's all I had to say?" Hah.

Even though I'm sort of in this "whatever" mode at the moment, one thing's for sure; everytime I just think about a job search and just trying to get my foot out there during these times, my face starts to get hot and I almost have a panic attack out of nowhere. Not very characteristic of me. But I can't keep myself from freaking out. I don't want to end up one of those grads that search high and low, 12+ hours a day looking for a job, only to realize 6 months have passed so then you resort to going back to working at the mall or Starbucks. Not that I have anything against honest people making a living that way, but I didn't suffer through Organic Chemistry and Micriobiology for nothing damnit. Sucks to be so worrisome when I'm supposed to be celebrating. But that's life, just gotta deal.

Maybe I should just take the advice of every adult that's talked to me about graduation - "Maybe you should take a break first. This is probably the last real vacation you'll have" :/