Soulmates, shmoulmates

The weekend before finals I was lucky enough to witness Will & Cynthia Adan tie the knot in a beautiful wedding ceremony. After about 7 years of being together, they finally got married, and anyone that knows Will & Cynch definitely sees them as one of those couples that gives hope that true love really does exist in this world. Again, congrats to the newlyweds and I wish only the best of luck in the future!

I wanted to start this blog this way because we can all relate when I say there are those couples we look at and automatically think "that's what soulmates are". Although I'm not denying the fact that people may end up with their "soulmate" in the end, I really hate the idea of how your supposed to meet your soulmate and determine whether they are or not in fixed period of time - in all honesty, I think it's when people get into relationships and have that mentality that problems start to arise real fast.

A couple weeks ago at work I was listening to this radio segment about a woman who is married but felt that she had met her soulmate in one of her previous relationships. Basically she was saying that she felt terrible that she let her soulmate go, and by marrying her husband, she was only "settling for less". She was contemplating whether to leave her husband or not so she could be reunited with her former love. What the hell woman. Why do people feel the need to put these labels on someone, it (unnecessarily) makes things more complicated. If this woman didn't think in this "we're meant to be" mentality, she wouldn't have even put herself in this situation. She just needs to get that idea out of her head and maybe spend some time putting effort into her marriage? I don't know, that idea is just too out there for some people I guess. This woman also wasn't ready for marriage in my opinion, but that marriage rant would require another post...

That being said, I still believe in soulmates. The thing is, I don't believe that you meet this person and predetermine "soulmate or not soulmate" in a certain amount of time, even a couple years seems too short to me. To me someone has to become your soulmate, and I think that's something that people always tend to forget; relationships aren't just a given, you have to actually put some hard work and effort into it - the real ones aren't made of the fluffy bullshit they feed you in the movies. I don't even think someone deserves to be called your soulmate until you've been to hell and back with this person and in the end, they are still there and love you the way you are, flaws and all.

Another thing is that I don't think people should have intentions of finding Mr./Mrs. Right when they are only beginning to talk to someone. People have such high expectations of what the right person should be, of course everyone they meet is going to fall short. It's totally fine to talk to someone and enjoy their company just for the hell of it. Remember, it is what it is.

/end soulmate&relationship wank

P.S. Sometimes I'm not sure whether being in a long relationship either makes me really knowledgeable about this stuff or completely clueless. I've experienced so many aspects of relationships with Raf , but when it comes to the actual dating scene I'm like a fish out of water...