Just a word of advice

Case of the Holiday Blues

I've been in a holiday funk, and I can't seem to get out of it. Reasons not necessarily unknown but not entirely concrete either. Relatively speaking I think I've got it pretty good & I'm at a good place in my life right now - however it's only inevitable during the holidays to also think about what you've been missing out on as you reflect on everything that's transpired this past year & the things you're thankful for.

I'm usually good at focusing on the brighter side of things, but I will allow myself to emo-it-out just once in this post. It's gotta come out sometime. With that being said:

-I feel like I let people step over me too much. I've always accepted the fact that sometimes I'm "too nice" but I'm going to grow a bigger backbone ffs. Not going to blame anyone but myself for this one though.

-Lately I haven't been able to do my own thing or call my own shots without someone acting as an obstacle to my independence.

-Experienced losing someone close to me really for the first time this year.

-People I thought I could always rely on & would have my back... some of them proved me wrong. I already have a tough time trusting people. Bummer.

-To put it in the most pathetic terms possible, sometimes it's like feeling lonely without actually being alone.

This could be due to a lot of things. Leaving the college life behind and finally putting it behind me. Work schedule, less free time, including not being on vacation anymore while everyone else is. Nagging family members that make it seem like it's never enough. Just realizing your relationships with some "friends" aren't what they used to be.

But enough of that! Definitely not going to feel sorry for myself, especially going into the New Year. This year has had its shortcomings but like I said, there are many things to be thankful for. I just needed to get some things off my chest to release this negativity and am now leaving it behind with 2009. I'm ready for 2010.

Oh yeah, and as some of you know I'm pretty good at hiding my emotions. So don't be fooled :]

Happy 7 Years Rawfreaky

We did it!

A random thoughts post

-It's tough for me to believe that this year is almost over. Every year people always say "this year's gone by so fast!" but lemme tell you, that's the damn truth for 2009 - for me anyways. About a year ago I was studying for my physiology and dev & cell bio finals, getting ready to go to Vegas with 198 & co. and now I'm going into my fourth month working fulltime. I feel like that was eons ago, then there's the mountain of stuff that happened in between...

-No "what I've learned this past year" post from me. But what I will say is that this year was the closest I've been to experiencing the full spectrum of human emotion. The wave of feelings that I've dealt with these past few months alone was so...cornucopian? Am I even using that right? Doesn't really help that I'm not even sure about what I'm trying to say.

-I've felt this surge of whining and "life sucks" attitudes from a good amount of people for a while now. Maybe that's what I get from following all these people on twitter. Or it could just be a reflection of the state of our country right now (raised tuition, unemployment, etc.). But wow, you gotta shake that negativity off peeps. That's one thing I've had on replay in my head. I'm sure there's good things aplenty you can smile about during your day to offset some petty annoyance that you're just going to forget about the next day. Don't wait for a drastic event remind you of how much you need to enjoy what you have because it can all be gone in a flicker.

-When I was 16 or 17 I would constantly overthink about how different my life would be five years ahead. Here I am, almost 23, still doing the same thing. All of those shoulda, coulda, woulda's. The paths not taken, the ones you wish were available to you, deciding on your next move. I wonder if people still think this way when they're like 90 or if it never really goes away.

-Despite all that, I am in a very happy state. I really am.

"To Those I Love and To Those Who Love Me"

When I am gone, release me, let me go. You have so many things to see and do. You mustn't tie yourself to me with tears. Be happy that we had so many years.

I gave you my love. You can only guess how much you gave me in happiness. I thank you for the love you each have shown, but now it's time I traveled alone.

So grieve a while for me, if grieve you must, then let your grief be comforted by trust. It's only a while that we must part. So bless the memories within your heart.

I won't be far away, for life goes on. So if you need me, call and I will hear. Though you can't see or touch me, I'll be near and if you listen with your heart, you'll hear all of my love around you, soft and clear.

And then, when you must come this way alone, I'll greet you with a smile and "Welcome Home"

Worth a try

I have no idea what the end product of this post is going to be like. Erwin had pointed out how lackluster the efforts of our little blogging community have been lately (the peeps on the right side of my page if you didn't know already), so I thought I might as well wing it and post something. You could say most of my favorite posts have been class-lecture or douche-encounter inspired, but obviously I can't rely on that for inspiration no mo'. I feel like I rag on religion too much as well, and although I have plenty more to say, I'd like to still believe there's a little place in heaven for me someday O:-)

I prefer to flesh out my posts if possible, so I'll usually only blog about something after it's had time to simmer in my brain and I have enough shit to say. I like my posts meaty. But with the combination of being addicted to Twitter and being as impatient as I am, I tend to just blurt out the thoughts in my head as they come now.

There's no stupid comment by some ignoramus in class I can build a post off of anymore. I see the same people everyday at work and for the most part they are all really nice - I'm not even exaggerating. So what now? I mean jeez I'm only turning 23 soon, I don't want to think life starts to get less interesting and shit starts to get really real from this point. The next closest milestones won't be happening anytime soon, as long as life goes according to plan:

-Moving out: Maybe in the next year? Or two? I like not having to pay for much while living with my 'rents but this could definitely happen in the near future.

-Marriage: Meh, I'm not really in a hurry. Some people say not much will change, so why not? I say not much will change, so why in a rush?

-Kids: I'd like to remain kid-less for a while after getting married. I actually questioned myself at times if I really wanted kids at all. I think I was just scared at what kind of mother I would turn out to be, but then I snapped out of it. I mean how cool with it be to have a mom with such infinite wisdom? (I keed, you never know how well sarcasm comes across on teh interwebs).

But what of the meantime?

Til the next post...whenever that is...

SMH at you, Mike Seaver

This ongoing science vs. religion debate seriously grinds my gears. For the tl;dw crowd, here's what Mr. Cameron & company have planned for the 150th anniversary of Darwin's "Origin of Species":

An entire generation has been (and is being) brainwashed by atheistic evolution, and it's radically changing the culture of our nation.

In an effort to combat this, we produced a special 280-page full color cover edition of Origin of Species, which contains a 50-page introduction [aka crock of shit]. 50,000 copies of the "balanced" version of Darwin's "Origin of Species" will be given out on November 19th (a few days before the 150th anniversary of the book).

Get the book and you can see the opposing and "correct view".

I wonder if he would still approve if schools were to teach ALL alternatives: creationist/ID views of Hinduism, Buddhism, Shinto, Islam, Sikhism...hmmmm. What if agnostic/atheist folks wrote their own 50-page introduction to the Bible and distributed thousands of those? They have the liberty to do so as well, right?

I posted this video on twitter & facebook before, but it's worth a repost:

Hand in My Pocket

I'm broke but I'm happy

I'm poor but I'm kind

I'm short but I'm healthy, yeah

I'm high but I'm grounded

I'm sane but I'm overwhelmed

I'm lost but I'm hopeful, baby

And what it all comes down to

Is that everything's gonna be fine fine fine

I've got one hand in my pocket

And the other one is giving a high five

I feel drunk but I'm sober

I'm young and I'm underpaid

I'm tired but I'm working, yeah

I care but I'm restless

I'm here but I'm really gone

I'm wrong and I'm sorry baby

What it all comes down to

Is that everything's gonna be quite alright

I've got one hand in my pocket

And the other one is flicking a cigarette

And what it all comes down to

Is that I haven't got it all figured out just yet

I've got one hand in my pocket

And the other one is giving the peace sign

I'm free but I'm focused

I'm green but I'm wise

I'm hard but I'm friendly baby

I'm sad but I'm laughing

I'm brave but I'm chickenshit

I'm sick but I'm pretty baby

And what it all boils down to

Is that no one's really got it figured out just yet

I've got one hand in my pocket

And the other one is playing the piano

And what it all comes down to my friends

Is that everything's just fine fine fine

I've got one hand in my pocket

And the other one is hailing a taxi cab

"But he's a nice guy!"

Now don't get me wrong, I love me some nice guys. There's nothing wrong with being a nice guy. They make great friends (I know, something nice guys hate hearing. But it's true!). And if I was single, I would probably take the nice guy next door any day over the quintessential bad boy - that is, if I had to choose and had no option of the perfect mix between the two, cuz y'all know me & my thing with balance.

Although some bad boys make it hard for a girl to choose...

However, I CAN'T stand it when dudes pull the "nice guy" card as if it cancels out other shortcomings, or even worse, when other people do it for that person. Being a nice guy does not automatically exempt you from other douche tendencies. There are many everyday examples of this curious dichotomy of likable & loser.

See:

_The holier-than-thou guy whose preachiness is off the charts. You never feel like you're having a conversation "with" him because it always seems like he's talking "at" you about some shiet he thinks you could learn from. But he's a nice guy!

_The dude whose "Do-I-Sound-Like-An-Asshole-Right-Now?" awareness meter seems to be broken 24/7. One too many snarky comments here and there. But I'm sure he never means it, because he's a nice guy!

_Not the ego-inflated jerk, but rather the one whose self-deprecation is just too much to deal with. We all do it, but you know the guy that never stops? But he's a nice guy!

_The bigot. Self-explanatory. But he's a nice guy??

Take home message of the day: I still have love for nice guys! Just remember that it isn't some disguise or excuse to engage in some dickish behaviors.

Now go forth, and sin no more.

Setting the bar

So now that things are a little different for me now in terms of lifestyle, free time, etc., I thought I should set myself some new goals. These are ongoing, and I don't want to set a deadline for any of them, but I need some new stuff to look forward to and work towards these days.

1. Work on time management. Don't try to cram too much stuff in one day.

2. Specifically make some time for the gym. And if possible, reading.

3. To compensate lack of gym time -> eat healthier.

4. Getting a decent night of sleep each day is a must.

5. Get a new damn phone!

6. Apply for a credit card/build credit (I know, I'm late on that)

7. Save, save, save $$$. Avoid splurging. Forreal.

8. When the time is right (?), move out of the house

...

573. Buy myself a Marc Jacobs bag :/

Another Reason Why I'm Scared of the Ocean

Okay, maybe not so much scared because these aren't like the humongo open-ocean creatures that haunt me in my dreams sometimes (forreal), but GROSS. These giant marine isopods are in the same Class as crabs, lobsters & shrimp - Malacostraca - but this seriously makes me think twice about eating any of those things ever again. I mean if you really think about it, and I've actually discussed this in one of my classes, lobsters are like "cockroaches of the sea"...

Yummy.

Appetizing.

Doesn't roly poly bisque sound just as good?

It Had to Be Said

My favorite Twilight-related thing ever, although that may not be saying much.

"In this remixed narrative Edward Cullen from the Twilight Series meets Buffy the Vampire Slayer at Sunnydale High. It's an example of transformative storytelling serving as a critique of Edward's character and generally creepy behavior. Through Buffy's eyes some of the more patriarchal gender roles and sexist Hollywood tropes embedded in the Twilight saga are exposed in hilarious ways."

Hello, Goodbye

So it's official - in less than 2 weeks, I start the next chapter in my life as a fulltime working woman.

Hello to more moola & all that comes with it, including more responsibility. I think I did pretty well in college managing my finances, but now it's time to get serious. I will do my best to try & refrain from splurging on unnecessary luxuries, even though I'll have some leeway since I won't have too much to pay for while I'm living at home; I need to keep my focus on establishing my own place instead of designer purses or more clothes that I won't have room for in my closet anyways. Although I do need to revamp my daily wardrobe to business casual attire. Fun.

Then there's the hard part: goodbye. To lazy summer days. Spontaneous weekday adventures. Sleeping in. Real vacations. Not doing anything because I feel like it. Wasting any free time that I have. Gah I just I don't get burned out too fast. Wish me luck.

It's funny how I've just been dying to land this job for the last couple weeks and now that I finally did it, I focus not on what I'll be gaining but rather what I'll have to give up. It's that damned if you do, damned if you don't feeling. Haha but really, I'm not complaining. Time to conquer my next mountain...

Oh and if you're wondering where I'll commence my journey into the "real world", it's here.

Leap of faith

After a long, drawn-out conversation I had with a friend yesterday, we eventually touched on some important subjects that I didn't think would catch me so off-guard. It's like those conversations that you have in middle school where you nonchalantly tell your friends exactly how the rest of your life is going to (or at least, how you think it's supposed to) play out. Without really thinking about how monumental these events are in your life, you make that checklist in your head - college, graduation, starting your career, marriage, starting a family, etc.. Suddenly cut to 10 years later and when it's time to really start the discussion, lo and behold, you really don't know what to say. I've been having way too many of these moments lately haha:

Anyways, I guess we're just at that point in our lives where we actually have to confront all those things we said we would do when we were younger and probably a little braver as well; I mean what 12-year old took into account financial situations or baggage from past experiences when determining their destination in life? I know nowadays you can't help but think about these obstacles, but that naive outlook - sometimes you just have to revert back to that to cut out the bullshit & see the big picture. I appreciate everything that I've learned from my experiences with people and in relationships and just the "real world", but man it would be nice to go back to not having a worry in a world for a day again.

A little after the conversation finished, there was one thought that stuck in my head after talking about a particular subject, but I think it applies to everything -

Can you ever be 100% sure of something if you've never known otherwise?

With some big decisions that folks our age have to make and without having as much experience as older folks, I just have a hard time taking that leap of faith sometimes and just trusting that a certain decision is the right one. It's like saying San Diego is the best city in the world and there's absolutely no other place you'd rather be, but you've never been past the county borders. As much as you love this city and despite having numerous examples lined up to back your case, can you ever really go from that 99% to 100% sure that SD is the place to be and never bother leaving it for the rest of your life because it's that good to you? I don't know...

Blegh

This blog used to be so good. Okay, so I don't mean to toot my own horn, but I think it used to be good at least.

Someone inspire me. Piss me off. Surprise me. Criticize me. Motivate me. Advise me. Commit a social injustice against me. Tell me I'm wrong. Agree with me. Bitch me out. Praise me. Anything at this point.

"Friends forever, with you everywhere"

So it's been almost a week since we've moved out of 198. It didn't really start to sink in until the last couple of days when I would wake up in my room & not be as excited because I had no roomies to say good morning/afternoon to. And there was the lack of awesome late night snacks that I had grown accustom to, like some moons over my hammy or mini tacos.

But like they say, good things don't last forever, and I feel pretty lucky to have been one of the 198 residents for 3 years. I don't know too many people that can say they lived with the same roommates in the same apartment for as long as we did. Anyways, to remember the happier times and since Mel posted her share of 198 pics, here are some of mine:

Move-in day during the summer

Derek's birthday at Roger's house 2nd year. G's.

My 21st bday. No group pic, but everyone helped pitch in & I had lots of fun, so thanks guys.

Brent Bash during 3rd year.

A 198 Christmas, 3rd year.

Happy 21st Lance!

Doin' Vegas, winter break of last year.

At my graduation <3

Moving out...

I'll keep this short, so I just want to say thanks to Mel, Lance, Brent, & Derek, and to everyone who's ever visited us the past 3 years to make my 198 experience the best that it could have been :]

Congrats c/o 2009!

I'm a little late on this, but we did it class of '09! I know we have amazing journeys ahead for each of us.

Raffy & Roger @ the Henry Samueli School of Engineering Commencement. If I never changed my major I would have graduated with them :p

Although Jay's younger than me, I look up to him a lot. I know he'll do awesome things at UCI next year. And stick to your music!

Thank you to everyone who stopped by to say hey, even if it was just for a couple minutes <3

And of course, my #1 supporter for 6 1/2 years :]

Another Reason Why Pixar Rules

For the whole article: Pixar grants girl's dying wish to see 'Up'

HUNTINGTON BEACH – Colby Curtin, a 10-year-old with a rare form of cancer, was staying alive for one thing – a movie.

From the minute Colby saw the previews to the Disney-Pixar movie Up, she was desperate to see it. Colby had been diagnosed with vascular cancer about three years ago, said her mother, Lisa Curtin, and at the beginning of this month it became apparent that she would die soon and was too ill to be moved to a theater to see the film.

After a family friend made frantic calls to Pixar to help grant Colby her dying wish, Pixar came to the rescue.

The company flew an employee with a DVD of Up, which is only in theaters, to the Curtins’ Huntington Beach home on June 10 for a private viewing of the movie.

The animated movie begins with scenes showing the evolution of a relationship between a husband and wife. After losing his wife in old age, the now grumpy man deals with his loss by attaching thousands of balloons to his house, flying into the sky, and going on an adventure with a little boy.

Colby died about seven hours after seeing the film :'(

...

Colby died with her mom and dad nearby at 9:20 p.m.

Among the Up memorabilia the employee gave Colby was an “adventure book” – a scrap book the main character’s wife used to chronicle her journeys.

“I’ll have to fill those adventures in for her,” Lisa Curtin said.

You go, Pixar. R.I.P. Colby <3

"What We Talk About When We Talk About Love"

"You guys have been together eighteen months and you love each other. It shows all over you. You glow with it. But you both loved other people before you met each other. You've both been married before, just like us. And you probably loved other people before that too, even. Terri and I have been together five years, been married for four. And the terrible thing, the terrible thing is, but the good thing too, the saving grace, you might say, is that if something happened to one of us - excuse me for saying this - but if something happened to one of us tomorrow I think the other one, would grieve for a while, you know, but then the surviving party would go out and love again, have someone else soon enough. All this, all of this love we're talking about, it would just be a memory. Maybe not even a memory. Am I wrong? Am I way off base? Because I want you to set me straight if you think I'm wrong. I want to know. I mean, I don't know anything, and I'm the first one to admit it."

If you ever get the chance, I recommend checking out this short story by Raymond Carver. I like his work in general, and this was a pretty interesting read about love and relationships. Just wanted to share this excerpt that resonated with me.

Because it's my last finals week...without the finals part

This weekend, I made sure to bring all of the necessary notes with me so that I could work on my last real assignment of my college career (I hesitate to say "undergraduate", I keep going back and forth with that idea in my head). But of course, I didn't get any sh*t done. I guess I'll never learn I never learned - I can say that now! Haha. Anyways, this blog has been pretty stagnant as of late, but I don't really want to blame it on lack of time or being too busy with finals/graduation/that biz. Honestly, I couldn't have asked for an easier quarter to ride out the rest of my time here at UCI.

I guess I haven't blogged in a while because I honestly don't have anything to say. As I approach the end of a big chapter in my life, I wish I'd have real insightful things to say, but actually I'm feeling a little numb right now. I think all of the anxiety/relief/happiness/sadness just cancels each other out and I'm left just feeling a little blank. I don't want to put too much out there right now until I can actually articulate my thoughts. I don't want to look back to read this and go "I freaking graduated, and that's all I had to say?" Hah.

Even though I'm sort of in this "whatever" mode at the moment, one thing's for sure; everytime I just think about a job search and just trying to get my foot out there during these times, my face starts to get hot and I almost have a panic attack out of nowhere. Not very characteristic of me. But I can't keep myself from freaking out. I don't want to end up one of those grads that search high and low, 12+ hours a day looking for a job, only to realize 6 months have passed so then you resort to going back to working at the mall or Starbucks. Not that I have anything against honest people making a living that way, but I didn't suffer through Organic Chemistry and Micriobiology for nothing damnit. Sucks to be so worrisome when I'm supposed to be celebrating. But that's life, just gotta deal.

Maybe I should just take the advice of every adult that's talked to me about graduation - "Maybe you should take a break first. This is probably the last real vacation you'll have" :/

I'm going to miss Wednesday night TV

Now for some Aerosmith to tie in two of my favorite shows right now:

The studio version of Adam Lambert's cover of Aerosmith's "Cryin'" is a million times better than the performance.  Not gonna lie, I've had this on repeat all day.  Who knew when I made that Adam Lambert post back during Top 13 week I'd be this obsessed at this point. Maybe I'm biased (fck yeah Sundevils) but man, I love this guy.  

[Damnit it won't let me embed the video]

And for some vintage Aerosmith, check out Josh Holloway aka Sawyer from LOST around the 3:25 mark. James has definitely come a long way haha. And this season's finale...my mind was blown. Damn you writers for pulling on my heart strings ;(

Just in case

Note to self/unsure graduates/anxious twenty-somethings/probably you:

Don't be so emo.  You live in America.  Meaning freedom of speech. Endless possibilities.  You probably have never felt what it's really like to go hungry. There's a roof over your head. People in the world wake up not knowing if they will survive the end of the day.  What struggle? Really? Don't take things for granted. Life is good. You'll be fine.  

-Capinator

Happy Mother's Day!

For all you mother lovers out there

Paparazzi

I may not "get" her at all sometimes, or almost all the time actually, but I love this chick. And her crazy hats & geisha lips phase lately.  Help!

P.S. it's a shame I can't get into the "I Poke Her Face" song, maybe the instrumental but yeah...

Happy 100th!

Between last-quarter-ever anxieties, putting in more hours at work, the laziness-inducing weather, and basically just figuring out what I'm going to do with my life, I haven't had a chance lately to just sit down and think things out for a minute. There's also the fact that I've been resorting to Twitter to post random, useless thoughts that don't warrant their own post, but I digress.  I saw that this would be my 100th post on this site (whoopee!) and I didn't have any grand idea deserving of this spot, so I guess it would just be best to look back on some of my favorite posts.

Unlike looking back at my old Xanga, I actually enjoy going back and reading through some of my old posts here haha.  From politics and religion to relationships and social commentary in general, I definitely solidified some of my views on  - or am on my way to figuring out - these topics during the past 100 posts.  I remember back in high school I was pretty indif

ferent to a lot of things, but thanks to my experiences in college, life, and just plain ol' growing up, I've been able to open my eyes arguably for the better.  

Dating/Relationships:

- Soulmates, Shmoulmates: One of my usual relationship wanks

- The Sexy Post: My guide on how to be "Top Tier" lol

- Wifey Skills According to Him:I'm not a fan of lists like this but it was fun to make it anyways

Feminism & Sexism:

- Sex Sells, Female Chauvinism, Etc.: Thoughts about beauty standards, where to draw the line b/w sexy and trashy

- Give Me a Break: Double standards FTL

Religion/Philosophy:

- Science & Religion: Contradictory or Compatible?: I was compelled to basically write an essay after taking my philosophy of biology class

- Searching for Answers: A summary of where I stand right now in regards to religion in my life and how it's changed

- They Say You Want a Revolution: Thoughts on these 2 subjects after one of our late night 198 talks

Politics/Civil Rights:

- My Turn on Prop 8 Thoughts: An issue I was pretty passionate about this past year

- Obama takes a step forward for women's rights and the abortion issue: Another touchy subject, I just wanted to get some information out there for people to think about

Thanks to all (probably around 3 haha) of my readers and people who have commented on my stuff, I really enjoy reading your commentary, criticisms and compliments! Here's to the next 100 posts *crosses fingers*

When the lights go down in the City...

Click on the picture for my Multiply album

Just what I needed to start my final quarter at UCI.  Although I'm pretty exhausted, at the same time I feel rejuvenated after a weekend getaway where I could just enjoy quality time with some good folks.  

More interesting posts to come up, I pinky swear.

Why I'm going to the gym everyday this week

So far, spring break can be summed up in the following:

Korean BBQ in honor of Team Korea vs. Team Japan

A full on BBQ the next day, just because

What we consider a "late night snack"

Including egged-up hot dogs I guess?

All because I live with these people. I nominate them as the next contenders on "Man vs. Food"

You go girl

Portia De Rossi's Prop 8 PSA. And that's all I want to say about that right now.

I have high hopes for this movie

The first official poster:

And just to take you back to your childhood:

Carjacked

About 2 weeks ago, my brother's car (aka my old Prelude that I used to drive) was stolen while he was at school.  I guess he was running late and the main parking lot was full, so he ended up parking on sophomore hill.  Biiig mistake.  When he went to go home during his off-roll period, it was long gone.  I assumed it was already in pieces somewhere in TJ by the end of that night.

Then last Sunday, the police called my house after they had chased down this car that was speeding on the 15.  Speeding in a stolen car -> never overestimate the smarts of car thieves. Anyways, the car ended up hitting an electrical box in Mira Mesa, and the 2 people in the car started to run only to be caught by the police.  When my dad and Jay arrived after getting the call, they began cleaning out what was inside of the car:

Checkbooks.  Beamer keys. DVDs. Games. Sunglasses. Blankets. Tools. Wine glasses and china.  Important documents. Cell phones.  Tons of stuff that was stolen.  Also throw in a flamethrower and a tank of gas in there...

But although we got the car back, the thieves did a piss-poor job trying to disguise it.  The license plate was gone, the front bumper was painted over, parts of the trunk were missing, the radio was taken out, the filter in the engine was missing, and the tires and rims were changed. But worst of all, there were these 2 fugly black streaks on the hood.  A total Monet - from far away it looks aight, but up close...

Notice the color of the rims on both sides...

The inside after most of it was already cleaned out

Under the front bumper

At least we got it back in one piece :/

Twitter

I got one too, check the widget -->

That is all.

I'll probably still be updating my facebook more though, so this is a little pointless...

Slow Jamming the News

I haven't seen an episode of Jimmy Fallon's talk show or decided whether I think he'll be a success or a massive fail. And I don't know how I feel about The Roots as his house band. But this was pretty hilarious:



"She added an amendment" - Best part. LOL.

This...is American Idol

Now that we know the Top 13 contestants of Season 8, I think I will be going the root-for-your-hometown route and support my boy Adam Lambert. 

His Idol profile claims L.A. as his hometown but don't be fooled - he is a PQ boy at heart and a Deer Canyon/Mesa Verde/Mt. Carmel graduate. Yayuh.

So he can be a little over the top for my taste when it comes to the shrills and vocal gymnastics, but he has a damn impressive range. He's one of those people whose style you either love or loathe. I think if he learns how to tone it down for the show, he has a pretty good chance of making it far into the competition. Vocally speaking, very Axl Rose to me. Maybe a little Robert Plant at times and David Bowie, vibe-wise. Some people say Freddie Mercury, but it's hard for me to compare someone to who I regard as probably the greatest rock vocalist of all time. 

Anyways, did I mention he's fab as hell? One thing's for sure, he's got the glam rock thing down. Idol needs a little edge these days. 

Team Anoop Doog too.

Maybe I'm naive

My relative facebook status for the day, since I don't have a twitter:

Love thy neighbor. Not Christian neighbors only. Not just the straight couple down the street. Not members of the majority down the hall. Love thy neighbor.

I was feeling rather hopeful today...

"Is that Robert Downey Jr. in Watchmen?"

Lo and behold, the trifecta of pure awesomeness:

Mmk so Robert Downey Jr. is a little reaching for me in this case, but I swear Javier Bardem and Jeffrey Dean Morgan - separated at birth.

I know jacksh*t about Watchmen, but you will find me at the theatres opening weekend. And strictly for RDJ/JB/JDM picture balancing purposes:

Give me a break

I never really had a chance to discuss my thoughts on Slut! after I read it a while back but if there was one thing that I took away from it, it would be to refrain from labeling someone a "slut" or "whore" based on how they carry themselves or what you may have heard. If I hear you say something really idiotic, will I maybe judge you as being a little empty-headed? Perhaps.  If you make some smart-ass comment and see you belittle people for the hell of it, will I think you might be a bitch? I'll admit, sometimes. But as for calling someone a slut based on an outfit or two, I think I'm over that.

I'm just a little sick and tired of these damn double standards. Yes, we all know that ladies don't need to show a lot of skin to be considered sexy.  But does that mean it's okay to punish any woman that chooses to do so anyways? I just think it's hilarious how one minute a man will tell a female, "You know, you'll probably warrant some unwanted attention with that outfit, you might want to reconsider" then follow up with an oh-so-ironic "but damn by the way you look really sexy like that". So what is it society, do you want your women pure or do you want them sexy? You say you want both, but if a woman isn't sexy, you will pick her looks apart because apparently she's busted and unwanted. If a woman isn't pure, it's somehow okay to crucify her because we've been brought up to have no sympathy towards those "bad" girls. 

The worst part of this situation for me is how often the blame is brought upon the female if something happens to her. If a female catches a man's eye and he decides to disrespect her, some people will say she had it coming. Riiight. Just like how women in domestic abuse cases must have done something to instigate her own beating? Or how some rape victims had it coming to them because of their established reputation? Yes, there are some girls out there who put themselves out there with the sole purpose of garnering stares and catcalls who spoil it for the rest of us. But if a man decides to disrespect a woman, I don't think the main problem is the woman's choice of how she decided to portray her body - the problem is how that man thinks harassing a female is permissible, for whatever reason. The problem is how women are also quick to punish each other for being sexual. 

Just think about it.

Headache

For some reason or another, I have a hard time just letting some things play out.  I wish I didn't overanalyze and play out idealistic situations in my head because I'm only setting things up for reality to fall short of them. It's difficult for me to trust that it will all work out in the end because I hate not knowing what's going to happen. It's hard for me not having all the answers right now. 

Funny thing is that I know in the end it won't matter to me - regardless of the means, in the end I'll be happy. I've always told myself those minor issues don't really matter, it's the big picture that counts. So why do I care so much? When did not having control over situations bother me to this extent? Agh. 

Pandora Radio

I wouldn't know anything about this website if my brother hadn't told me, so kudos to Jay.

Even though I'm not particularly savvy regarding technology and tons of people might know about this already, I thought this was cool so I thought I'd share.  Usually when I'm at work, I settle for listening to some San Diego radio station online because 1) I don't have iTunes on my computer at work, and 2) I just can't browse through Myspace and Youtube endlessly to play music that I like. But even doing the online radio thing I endure way more commercial breaks than I'd like, so it's so much nicer to be able customize your own radio station depending on your mood. Or even 10 stations at a time if you'd like. 

For Pandora Radio all you need to do to create a station is type in an artist, song, or composer and it will generate your own station by selecting music with similar qualities. For example, type in "Queen" and you get:

-Electric rock instrumentation

-A subtle use of paired vocal harmony

-Repetitive melodic phrasing

-Extensive vamping

-Paired vocal harmony

Or if you're feeling some "Cool Kids" it comes up songs that have these characteristics:

-East Coast rap influences

-Electronica influences

-A knack for catchy hooks

-Sparse beats

-Use of call-and-response vocals

If you like the songs that the station generates, you can give it a thumbs up and it'll be repeated sometime in the future. You can also give a song a thumbs down if you don't care for it too much, then it won't be played on that station anymore. 

I think the Pandora application is available for the iPhone and is available for downloading to Windows as well. Happy listening!

I'm watching the Grammys just for updates on this

In what may or may not be related news, ET confirms that pop singer Rihanna will not be performing at tonight's Grammys following sustaining a bruised face in what sources called a car accident. Coincidentally, Rihanna's rumored boyfriend Chris Brown is under investigation for alleged domestic violence felony battery related to an alleged attack on a woman in a car who sustained what police call "visible injuries."

A Grammy representative tells ET that Rihanna's face is slightly bruised and no announcement has been made as to who will be taking her place on stage.

Related to the Brown investigation, police say Brown and the woman were in a vehicle in the Hancock Park area of Los Angeles when, following an argument, the woman was allegedly injured, naming Brown as her attacker. When police arrived, they only found the woman; Brown had left. The Associated Press reported Sunday afternoon that police were still looking for the male R&B star. Per department policy, police are declining to identify the alleged victim.

Police say they received a 911 call related to the incident which occurred around 12:30 a.m. on Sunday. The LAPD is investigating the incident. "If police locate Brown, yes, he's subject to arrest," Officer Harding added.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"Car accident" my ass. And even if it isn't Rihanna, he still left the scene? What a punk.

First Christian Bale (although the remix is hilarious I must admit), now Chris Brown. Don't let me down RDJ!

One Take Sessions

What do you guys do when you don't feel like being productive or just want to kill time on the 'net? I watch Gabe Bondoc videos.

Chris Brown - "Forever"


Gabe with Leejay Abucayan with a medley of the awesomeness that comes with being a 90's kid


Gabe Bondoc covering Ryan Leslie "Addiction". Only 2 of my favorite things ever haha.


Check out more of his stuff here. Covers of the JoBros, Katy Perry, Coldplay, Nsync, etc. etc.

High on life

I'm in a constant balancing act.

Sometimes I need to learn how to just let go...

Obama takes a step forward for women's rights & the abortion issue

Last week, President Obama lifted the ban that prevented giving federal aid to international groups that perform abortions or provide abortion information. The ban, better known as the "Mexico City policy" or "Global Gag Rule", has been in and out of effect ever since President Reagan adopted the policy back in the 1980's. The war between pro-life and pro-choice is a serious one, and I wanted to clear up some things about this Global Gag Rule because it doesn't just cover the yes-or-no issue of whether you think abortion is morally wrong or not; the policy was a great threat to the rights and health of women worldwide.

In a nutshell, the Global Gag Rule means that no organization can receive USAID funds (Agency for International Development) or family planning assistance if it performs abortions, provides counseling and referral for abortions, or lobbies to make abortion legal or more available in its own country. Apparently, this included organizations that don't even particularly mention "abortion", but instead mention "family planning", "reproductive health", "women's rights", or "free, informed choice". One can see how this would violate freedom of speech if it applied to domestic policy and how it perpetuates an image of American arrogance - in other words, it tells poor developing countries that they would receive no U.S. help if they do not conform to the Christian right agenda. As a result, thousands of women's health clinics were forced to close, the hardest hit being those that depended on U.S. foreign aid as their primary means of funding. Women who lived in an area where there was only one main clinic within miles and miles of another were simply out of luck.

The sad thing is that regardless of whether an organization received USAID funds or not, none of those funds would have been able to be used for abortions anyway. Under the Helms Amendment of 1973, international organizations are prohibited to use US funding to "pay for the performance of abortions as a method of family planning or to motivate or coerce any person to practice abortions." If those agencies wanted to perform abortions, they would have had to find their own way to fund the procedures. But because of the Global Gag rule, many facilities that did not even perform abortions were forced to close, stripping women from receiving services such as STI screening and treatment, HIV testing and counseling, and basic family planning and reproductive health care services. Thousands of women were denied the very services that may have prevented abortions from happening in the first place.

The World Health Organization estimated that the number of women who died from unsafe abortions every year (about 70,000) soared due to Bush's policies. Even in the Philippines, where abortion is illegal and many of the citizens are of the Catholic faith, the International Planned Parenthood Federation estimated that there are up to half a million unsafe abortions performed a year. President Bush and many of his supporters decided to exercise their political power to serve their ideology rather than really taking a look at what is going on in the world and trying to help millions of women and young girls.

There are many more instances in which President Bush took a step to reverse progress in family planning and world health. Under President Clinton, USAID was one of the 2 biggest donors of condoms in the world, since condoms have been shown as one of the most effective means of preventing the spread of HIV/AIDS and other STDs. When W. Bush came into office, he ended the shipping of condoms and other contraceptive supplies to 16 of the poorest developing countries in the world. Those governments, along with 13 other countries that could not receive supplies from USAID because of the gag rule conditions, were only able to provide 1/8 the number of condoms necessary to fight the spread of HIV/AIDS.

To be fair, there are also many examples in which the access to abortions has had a detrimental impact to some societies. In parts of India, the natural ratio between newborn boys and newborn girls has shifted to favor boys because of sex-selective abortion. Sadly, in many areas of the world baby girls are seen as less worthy due to cultural, socioeconomic, or other reasons.

As for my own views on abortion, I consider myself pro-choice, but with that being said, if I were ever put in that situation I don't think I would ever allow myself to go through it. I don't think that all cases of abortion are morally impermissible (i.e. cases of rape, incest, if it's a threat to the women's life), but I'm also pretty uneasy about partial-birth abortions - read up on "dilation and extraction" if any of you want to know why. Anyways, I say all this because just as our personal views on this issue may not be just black or white, neither are domestic and international policies surrounding this issue. The Freedom of Choice Act is now a big story in the news as well as a source of controversy, and before you make up your mind about this policy, I really urge you to do some research on it, as I'm sure misinformation would be spewed from both sides of the spectrum. Whether you consider yourself pro-life or pro-choice, it is important to look at this issue and the corresponding policies from both sides and not take anything for face-value.

*Edit* If anyone is interested in reading the text of the FOCA, see here