Back to Life

I have a little more than 2 weeks before school resumes, and I'm already stressing out about what I'm going to be doing this time a year from now.  Because frankly, I have no idea whatsoever. And it's not like I can depend on the next school year to start figuring shit out - I'm freaking graduating next spring *crosses fingers*

The past couple days I forced myself to try to get back into a somewhat school mode and look up my professors, check out the class websites, figure out my school and work schedule, find out what books I need, etc.  My brain hasn't had to process anything school related in almost 3 months, so even these little tasks hurt my head at the moment.  If that wasn't enough, today my mom proceeded to ask me - as she has been doing all summer - "So what are you going to do after college?" I've been able to get away with "Mom, I'll figure it out when fall quarter starts again, ok" but damn, the quarter starts on the 25th and the game plan for post-college life I'm supposed to be drafting in my brain is non-existent.  I even sat through a 30-minute video I downloaded from the UCI School of BioSci entitled "What You Can Do with a Bachelor's Degree in Biological Sciences".  How convenient right?

The thing is my mom has been hinting to me that she would like to see me pursue more education after earning my B.S.  However, I personally have been leaning away from that option and I have always had this perception of myself entering the work force directly after 4 years. I just wish I had thought of all of this sooner.  If I really had my heart set on a medical school, I should have made sure to maintain a more competitive GPA and take the right prerequisites according to the program of choice.  Same with grad school.  As for trying to find a job right out of college, I'm not even sure if I'm better off with this alternative either.  I just really don't know what I want.  F*ck, it wasn't even until recently that I had a feel for what fields of biology I actually like. How was I supposed to figure out 1-2 years ago what specific program at what specific school I wanted to work towards?  The fact that other people already know what they want at this stage in life doesn't make me feel any more prepared for the unknown.

Another thing that has always been in the back of my mind has been serving in the Peace Corps.  I've never taken that thought into serious consideration, and but the thought was always there as something that I believe would be life-changing adventure from the norm, all while promoting peace in developing countries and serving the global community.  I never thought my life would be able to accomodate 2 years of serving overseas and being away from friends and family; the focus was always on college, then finding a job, jumpstarting your career - you know, what's expected of a typical 20-something year old.  Now more than ever that option is a little tempting.

One thing I am sure about is how little time I have to make some pretty grown-up decisions.  Let's just hope it's not too little, too late.

Soulmates, shmoulmates

The weekend before finals I was lucky enough to witness Will & Cynthia Adan tie the knot in a beautiful wedding ceremony. After about 7 years of being together, they finally got married, and anyone that knows Will & Cynch definitely sees them as one of those couples that gives hope that true love really does exist in this world. Again, congrats to the newlyweds and I wish only the best of luck in the future!

I wanted to start this blog this way because we can all relate when I say there are those couples we look at and automatically think "that's what soulmates are". Although I'm not denying the fact that people may end up with their "soulmate" in the end, I really hate the idea of how your supposed to meet your soulmate and determine whether they are or not in fixed period of time - in all honesty, I think it's when people get into relationships and have that mentality that problems start to arise real fast.

A couple weeks ago at work I was listening to this radio segment about a woman who is married but felt that she had met her soulmate in one of her previous relationships. Basically she was saying that she felt terrible that she let her soulmate go, and by marrying her husband, she was only "settling for less". She was contemplating whether to leave her husband or not so she could be reunited with her former love. What the hell woman. Why do people feel the need to put these labels on someone, it (unnecessarily) makes things more complicated. If this woman didn't think in this "we're meant to be" mentality, she wouldn't have even put herself in this situation. She just needs to get that idea out of her head and maybe spend some time putting effort into her marriage? I don't know, that idea is just too out there for some people I guess. This woman also wasn't ready for marriage in my opinion, but that marriage rant would require another post...

That being said, I still believe in soulmates. The thing is, I don't believe that you meet this person and predetermine "soulmate or not soulmate" in a certain amount of time, even a couple years seems too short to me. To me someone has to become your soulmate, and I think that's something that people always tend to forget; relationships aren't just a given, you have to actually put some hard work and effort into it - the real ones aren't made of the fluffy bullshit they feed you in the movies. I don't even think someone deserves to be called your soulmate until you've been to hell and back with this person and in the end, they are still there and love you the way you are, flaws and all.

Another thing is that I don't think people should have intentions of finding Mr./Mrs. Right when they are only beginning to talk to someone. People have such high expectations of what the right person should be, of course everyone they meet is going to fall short. It's totally fine to talk to someone and enjoy their company just for the hell of it. Remember, it is what it is.

/end soulmate&relationship wank

P.S. Sometimes I'm not sure whether being in a long relationship either makes me really knowledgeable about this stuff or completely clueless. I've experienced so many aspects of relationships with Raf , but when it comes to the actual dating scene I'm like a fish out of water...