"Hey, so when are you & Raf finally going to...

...you know."

I get that a lot. Especially now that a few of my friends my age are engaged or really starting to get serious with their significant other. Why am I getting bombarded with all these marriage questions already? In all honesty, I find it really absurd.

A few days ago, a friend of mine posted an article presenting a case against marriage from Newsweek's "Marriage Reconsidered". Without even getting to the article, I think it's pretty telling about folks in our generation that whenever I mention not buying into the idea of marriage, I personally get a lot of "I was just talking about this same exact thing to my friend the other day" or something along those lines. I felt that the article struck a nerve with me because it is relevant & something that's being talked about. And if I need to explain myself one more time when someone tells me "why not get married now?" I might need to smack someone.

In regards to marriage, I just don't think humans are meant to be monogamous. Not saying it can't be done though. Despite how I feel about marriage at the moment, I haven't lost faith in love. But with that being said, I don't feel like love is enough. By itself, I don't think it conquers all either.

/wompwomp

//this post feels unfinished, might add more later

Headache

For some reason or another, I have a hard time just letting some things play out.  I wish I didn't overanalyze and play out idealistic situations in my head because I'm only setting things up for reality to fall short of them. It's difficult for me to trust that it will all work out in the end because I hate not knowing what's going to happen. It's hard for me not having all the answers right now. 

Funny thing is that I know in the end it won't matter to me - regardless of the means, in the end I'll be happy. I've always told myself those minor issues don't really matter, it's the big picture that counts. So why do I care so much? When did not having control over situations bother me to this extent? Agh. 

The Sexy Post

Like many of the topics of my previous posts, this one is inspired by one of the "Late night at 198" talks that occur on a daily basis. Mel and I had a lot to say about this subject, and suprisingly to me, the guys did too. Anyways, we got into this debate about guys and whether they were deserving of top tier status or not. Criteria for this special classification is rather broad, but for this post I'm going to try to focus on the non-physical characteristics. Chiseled abs and such are a plus of course, but in the scheme of things, that is not what makes a great guy. Plus we watched that Victoria's Secret "What is Sexy 2008" and let me tell you, any program that dubs Tony Romo as the sexiest athlete of the year loses any credility that it might have had in the first place.

So these are some things that I personally think make a guy sexy. Whether you agree with me or not, I will attempt to make a case for each of my designations. Although I have been out of the dating game for quite a while now, I and many other females out there can still appreciate the good ones out there. So for you guys that make our hearts skip a beat and our cheeks blush, this one is for you.

Sexy is:

A guy with respect.
This is one of the top considerations on my list because I don't think there is anything sexier than a guy who knows how to treat his mom/sisters/females in his life with the utmost respect. The notion "the way a man treats his mom is the same way he will treat you" comes off pretty cliche but I would say that it holds true for the most part. To be honest, part of the allure of this type of guy is that it seems like a rarity nowadays. One of the worst things a guy can do is question a girl's character or intelligence simply based on the fact that she is a female. A girl wants to feel connected mentally, emotionally, and physically with a guy at the same level, and I don't think that can happen unless he sees her as an equal. Men and women offer different things to bring to the table, but equal nonetheless.

A guy who has passion in life.
This can be anything from an issue that a man feels strongly about to future plans that he wants to pursue to even a hobby. Guys that are passionate about something tells me that they potentially have the capacity for such things as commitment and dedication. I think it also gives girls hope that if he has this much conviction and puts time and energy about something he holds close to his heart, just imagine what he would do for you.

A guy that is talented.
Similar to being passionate about something and is pretty self-explanatory. Singing, dancing, writing, sports, designing, the arts - there's something sexy about a guy who's good at what he likes to do. Talent is something that really distinguishes one guy from another; it's easy to say "that guy is really nice" or "he's pretty cute", but it helps to set a man apart from the rest by saying "wow not everyone can do what he does". Plus any girl would want to be serenaded with a song from her crush/boyfriend or have a poem written about her - or my personal fave, have your own private dancer ;) . We like watching guys excelling in something, it does something to a girl. Haha, really.

A guy that knows humility goes a long way.
You can have all these great traits that make up a great guy but it goes out the window once arrogance comes in. There is something sexy about a guy that can be smart and talented without feeling the need to tell the whole world about it; being humble shows me that a man is comfortable with himself and does not feel threatened by other men enough to feel like he has to prove something. Confidence is still key as long he isn't trying too hard to convince the world that he is the shit. A guy that exudes quiet, inner confidence without having to say a word is very sexy.

A guy that isn't ashamed to use his mind.
The whole "acting dumb" act is attributed more to a female stereotype but many guys do this too - there are guys out there that think having knowledge about the world is lame and constitutes as "nerdy". Let me tell you, there is nothing nerdy about an intelligent guy. I think it's awesome when a guy has interesting points to say about an issue and have the intelligence and eloquence to back it up, even if i disagree with him. It's even sexier when a guy has the capability to expand my mind to new ideas and concepts. Being intelligent also means just knowing what's up - street smarts. Very few guys "get it" when it comes to how females think. A guy that has book smarts and street smarts is one of a kind.

A guy that can balance being a man and being romantic.
Sometimes a girl just wants her guy to take control, be a man and exhibit his masculinity because, well, it's hot. But some guys let their instincts get the best of them and don't know when to back down, surrender control, and just walk away from a situation. Other times a girl wants a guy to be affectionate and loving and show that he knows how to treat her better than anyone else. In this case, lots of guys can either be too clingy or not into "lovey dovey" stuff at all. A man that knows how to balance both is a great find because he can offer the best of both worlds.

For more insight on related "Late Night at 198" topics, check out our thoughts on relationships and dating on Mel's "Battle of the Sexies"