"Hey, so when are you & Raf finally going to...

...you know."

I get that a lot. Especially now that a few of my friends my age are engaged or really starting to get serious with their significant other. Why am I getting bombarded with all these marriage questions already? In all honesty, I find it really absurd.

A few days ago, a friend of mine posted an article presenting a case against marriage from Newsweek's "Marriage Reconsidered". Without even getting to the article, I think it's pretty telling about folks in our generation that whenever I mention not buying into the idea of marriage, I personally get a lot of "I was just talking about this same exact thing to my friend the other day" or something along those lines. I felt that the article struck a nerve with me because it is relevant & something that's being talked about. And if I need to explain myself one more time when someone tells me "why not get married now?" I might need to smack someone.

In regards to marriage, I just don't think humans are meant to be monogamous. Not saying it can't be done though. Despite how I feel about marriage at the moment, I haven't lost faith in love. But with that being said, I don't feel like love is enough. By itself, I don't think it conquers all either.

/wompwomp

//this post feels unfinished, might add more later

Bittersweet

Amazing. The same night great barriers are broken across the nation, others ones are being enforced in our home state. But you know what, I still have hope. I think marriage equality for all isn't an "if" question, but rather "when"; as disappointed as I am in California today, I know it takes time for people to learn to accept those who are different from them. If America can elect a black president given our ugly history of slavery and "separate but equal" that reigned not too long ago, then nothing is impossible. Exit polls show that voters in the 18-29 age range voted against Prop 8, so let's keep fighting the fight for the future, not just for marriage equality, but life, liberty and happiness for ALL.

"Human progress is neither automatic nor inevitable... Every step toward the goal of justice requires sacrifice, suffering, and struggle; the tireless exertions and passionate concern of dedicated individuals." - Martin Luther King, Jr.

My Turn on Prop 8 Thoughts

I posted this as a comment in one of the Coolkidsroom's entries, but I put more effort in it than I intended so I thought I would post it here as well -

"One really has to consider how society today views marriage as opposed to the institution's origins and history. In ancient times, a "marriage" was based on property distribution, gaining power, or having children. If this is the case, wouldn't it make sense for these arrangements to have existed long before humans even began to record history, before anything that we would recognize now as religion? For many religions today, bringing children into the world and raising them to believe in God is still stressed within marriage - does that mean an infertile man or woman has no reason to marry? Of course not.

In any case, it is obvious that the reasons for "marriage" have evolved as we have. Not everyone views marriage as a religious union, but as a legal and/or social union. It wasn't even until the 1500's when the Council of Trent required the presence of a priest and witnesses in order for a Roman Catholic marriage to be recognized. Before this point, marriage by consent was the norm. Does this invalidate the "marriages" prior to this point?

Long story short, why do (most) people want to get married nowadays? To spend the rest of their life with someone they love, legitimize their relationship in the public eye, whatever have you. What makes 2 men or 2 women wanting this different from a man and a woman? The church has stood the test of time and whoever wants to follow what the church suggests, that's fine. But not everyone wants a religious wedding. Not everyone is religious. The freedom of religion means the freedom to worship whoever you like, however you'd like, but it also means to not pass legislation in our country that would infringe another's freedom of religion or freedom to not adopt religion at all, which includes the right to a marriage defined outside of the church's terms.

Honestly, I don't know why people are so bothered with how others conduct their lives as long as they aren't hurting themselves or the well-being of others. And as for civil unions being compared to marriages, let us remind ourselves how "separate but equal" turned out for us before..."

Edit - Part 2:

"To clear up some things, I brought up the existence of marriage before religion/recorded history because many of the most popular and influential religions are codified into a specific doctrine for which its followers must obey - the Bible, the Qu'ran, the Torah, etc. Whether religion existed before recorded history or not does not matter, you really cannot state that marriage was created through the church as we know it, therefore the church has no more right to control marriage than the state does.

As for the personal freedom issue, whether Prop 8 passes or not, heterosexuals are not denied the right to marry. Voting no on Prop 8 really is not infringing on your or my freedom of religion because we will still be able to exercise our right to be married if we pleased. If Prop 8 passes, some of our friends would lose that right. Nothing would change about the church. The church will not recognize same-sex marriage either way, so only the freedom of homosexuals will have a real impact. Just like when Roe vs. Wade was passed - the church's position on abortion remained the same, and those who stood against abortion still had the choice of being pro-life. Legalized abortion was not forced into their ideology.

The entire text of Proposition 8 is less than 10 sentences long, but the only words that matter are: "Only marriage between a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California". This includes marriage through church, marriage through the state, marriage period. Same-sex couple will not be able to marry, even with a separation of church and state. Where is the equality in that? Even if civil unions are supposedly equal to marriage, then why do people still want to get married and not just accept a civil union? Or leave it at cohabitation? What marriage means to you is different from what it means to me, from everyone else in California, and it has changed and evolved since the beginning. There is much more to marriage that transcends sexual orientation."