"Hey, so when are you & Raf finally going to...

...you know."

I get that a lot. Especially now that a few of my friends my age are engaged or really starting to get serious with their significant other. Why am I getting bombarded with all these marriage questions already? In all honesty, I find it really absurd.

A few days ago, a friend of mine posted an article presenting a case against marriage from Newsweek's "Marriage Reconsidered". Without even getting to the article, I think it's pretty telling about folks in our generation that whenever I mention not buying into the idea of marriage, I personally get a lot of "I was just talking about this same exact thing to my friend the other day" or something along those lines. I felt that the article struck a nerve with me because it is relevant & something that's being talked about. And if I need to explain myself one more time when someone tells me "why not get married now?" I might need to smack someone.

In regards to marriage, I just don't think humans are meant to be monogamous. Not saying it can't be done though. Despite how I feel about marriage at the moment, I haven't lost faith in love. But with that being said, I don't feel like love is enough. By itself, I don't think it conquers all either.

/wompwomp

//this post feels unfinished, might add more later

Live it off the wall

Happy New Year everyone! I wish I didn't end the year sounding so bitter but at least I can leave that negativity behind now & start with a clean slate. Definitely looking forward to what 2010 will bring - the good, the bad, the fugly - I'm up for a challenge.

Probably should've done this earlier, but here's an end of the year survey just for kicks.

1. What did you do in 2009 that you’d never done before? Lots of firsts (& some "only-once's") this year. Graduation, landed my first full-time job, lots of "growing up" stuff. Oh yeah, and I've never had to completely overhaul a 13-page original fictional story the night before it was due (successfully too!) 2010 has some big shoes to fill.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year? I didn't have any specific resolutions except these, and they still sound good to me.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? No.

4. Did anyone close to you die? Yes.

5. What countries did you visit? Didn't travel in 2009. Boo.

6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009? Patience, faith that things will work themselves out.

7. What date from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory and why? June 13 - BioSci Commencement. October 24 - day of bad news.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Again, graduating and job. Getting my grown-woman on.

9. What was your biggest failure? It's still difficult for me to open up and express my feelings sometimes. I need to fix that since it affects important relationships, especially with my parents.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? Nothing noteworthy.

11. What was the best thing you bought? My MyTouch! For as long as I've had a cell phone, I've never bought an upgraded phone until this year. I could always rely on Raf for his hand-me-downs, even though I'd always lose them :/ And not gonna lie I really like my Marc by Marc Jacobs bag.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration? My brother. He graduated this year too and started college at UCI. He's one person I don't worry about too much because he has a good head on his shoulders.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? Cheaters. 2009 was their year I swear, all over the news as well as things I'd hear about.

14. Where did most of your money go? Now a good portion of it goes to my savings, but at 198 I swear it all went to food. It's hard to resist AYCE Korean BBQ, Le Dip, Yardhouse Happy Hour, Yen Sushi, & all of our other favorite spots in The Vine (I miss it :/) I also have a bad online shopping habit.

15. What did you really, really, really get excited about? SF weekend earlier in the year. Starting my new job. Glee & the American Idol finale with Kradam lol.

16. What song will always remind you of 2009? If you know me then you won't be surprised if I say anything by Lady Gaga.

17. Compared to this time last year are you:
Happier? About the same but for different reasons.
Thinner? A little bit, didn't indulge as much this holiday season.
Richer? Yup.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of? Save money, blog, work out, make an effort to keep in touch with friends. BALANCE.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of? Judge, complain, worry about things that are out of my hands anyway.

20. How did you spend Christmas? With my family & watched Avatar in 3D.

21. How will you be spending new years? Spent it with Raf & his family at JV's dad's house.

22. Did you fall in love in 2009? Daily.

23. How many one-night stands? No thanks.

24. What was your favorite TV program? LOST, Glee, SYTYCD, Chuck, most of Discovery Channel.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? No

26. What was the best book you read? I enjoyed "Animal Farm" & "House of Leaves". I also really liked this book of short stories by Raymond Carver.

27. What was your biggest musical discovery? No artists in particular but I usually rely on Jay to send me some dope stuff, & he doesn't disappoint with his findings.

28. What did you want and you got? A job. It's a plus that I actually like it.

29. What did you want and not get? Respect from a few people. To be able to manage my time better.

30. What was your favorite film of this year? UP, Star Trek, District 9. I have more on my "to watch" list.

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old did you turn? Turned 23, had a little shindig at Confidential.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? Not feeling so restricted at times (sometimes due to other people, other times myself).

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009? Classy & cute.

34. What kept you sane? I could always turn to Raf or Jay.

35. Which celebrity did you fancy the most? They come and go but it's always Johnny<3>

36. What political issue stirred you the most? Oh man. The ongoing debate on marriage equality, women's rights. See here for examples.

37. Who did you miss? Now that I'm back at home I miss the good times in Irvine.

38. Who was the best new person you met? I like all the people I met this year. I won't stroke any egos by naming names lol.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009: You can never tell those close to your heart "I love you" too much.

40. Quote or Song Lyric that sums up your year: “So tonight gotta leave that nine to five upon the shelf and just enjoy yourself, groove, let the madness in the music get to you,
life ain't so bad at all.”

Setting the bar

So now that things are a little different for me now in terms of lifestyle, free time, etc., I thought I should set myself some new goals. These are ongoing, and I don't want to set a deadline for any of them, but I need some new stuff to look forward to and work towards these days.

1. Work on time management. Don't try to cram too much stuff in one day.

2. Specifically make some time for the gym. And if possible, reading.

3. To compensate lack of gym time -> eat healthier.

4. Getting a decent night of sleep each day is a must.

5. Get a new damn phone!

6. Apply for a credit card/build credit (I know, I'm late on that)

7. Save, save, save $$$. Avoid splurging. Forreal.

8. When the time is right (?), move out of the house

...

573. Buy myself a Marc Jacobs bag :/

Hello, Goodbye

So it's official - in less than 2 weeks, I start the next chapter in my life as a fulltime working woman.

Hello to more moola & all that comes with it, including more responsibility. I think I did pretty well in college managing my finances, but now it's time to get serious. I will do my best to try & refrain from splurging on unnecessary luxuries, even though I'll have some leeway since I won't have too much to pay for while I'm living at home; I need to keep my focus on establishing my own place instead of designer purses or more clothes that I won't have room for in my closet anyways. Although I do need to revamp my daily wardrobe to business casual attire. Fun.

Then there's the hard part: goodbye. To lazy summer days. Spontaneous weekday adventures. Sleeping in. Real vacations. Not doing anything because I feel like it. Wasting any free time that I have. Gah I just I don't get burned out too fast. Wish me luck.

It's funny how I've just been dying to land this job for the last couple weeks and now that I finally did it, I focus not on what I'll be gaining but rather what I'll have to give up. It's that damned if you do, damned if you don't feeling. Haha but really, I'm not complaining. Time to conquer my next mountain...

Oh and if you're wondering where I'll commence my journey into the "real world", it's here.

Back to Life

I have a little more than 2 weeks before school resumes, and I'm already stressing out about what I'm going to be doing this time a year from now.  Because frankly, I have no idea whatsoever. And it's not like I can depend on the next school year to start figuring shit out - I'm freaking graduating next spring *crosses fingers*

The past couple days I forced myself to try to get back into a somewhat school mode and look up my professors, check out the class websites, figure out my school and work schedule, find out what books I need, etc.  My brain hasn't had to process anything school related in almost 3 months, so even these little tasks hurt my head at the moment.  If that wasn't enough, today my mom proceeded to ask me - as she has been doing all summer - "So what are you going to do after college?" I've been able to get away with "Mom, I'll figure it out when fall quarter starts again, ok" but damn, the quarter starts on the 25th and the game plan for post-college life I'm supposed to be drafting in my brain is non-existent.  I even sat through a 30-minute video I downloaded from the UCI School of BioSci entitled "What You Can Do with a Bachelor's Degree in Biological Sciences".  How convenient right?

The thing is my mom has been hinting to me that she would like to see me pursue more education after earning my B.S.  However, I personally have been leaning away from that option and I have always had this perception of myself entering the work force directly after 4 years. I just wish I had thought of all of this sooner.  If I really had my heart set on a medical school, I should have made sure to maintain a more competitive GPA and take the right prerequisites according to the program of choice.  Same with grad school.  As for trying to find a job right out of college, I'm not even sure if I'm better off with this alternative either.  I just really don't know what I want.  F*ck, it wasn't even until recently that I had a feel for what fields of biology I actually like. How was I supposed to figure out 1-2 years ago what specific program at what specific school I wanted to work towards?  The fact that other people already know what they want at this stage in life doesn't make me feel any more prepared for the unknown.

Another thing that has always been in the back of my mind has been serving in the Peace Corps.  I've never taken that thought into serious consideration, and but the thought was always there as something that I believe would be life-changing adventure from the norm, all while promoting peace in developing countries and serving the global community.  I never thought my life would be able to accomodate 2 years of serving overseas and being away from friends and family; the focus was always on college, then finding a job, jumpstarting your career - you know, what's expected of a typical 20-something year old.  Now more than ever that option is a little tempting.

One thing I am sure about is how little time I have to make some pretty grown-up decisions.  Let's just hope it's not too little, too late.