"40 Things Every Woman Must Know About Men, Love, Sex and Relationships"

I'm not really someone to search for relationship/dating advice (especially on teh interwebs, that's what friends are for), but I do like to read advice columns for fun, even stupid stuff like Cosmo & their "tips" that they recycle.

Seriously though, "your va-jay-jay"?

Sometimes I'll even give my own take on these matters. But recently, I stumbled across an article that I thought had a good amount of truth to it, although there were a few points I had to question myself. I'm only going to post up a few that caught my eye but here's the entire article if you feel compelled to read on.

Most women learn about men, love, sex and relationships the hard way. They walk down the highly traveled, worn out path of emotional scars, broken hearts, abuse, confusion, anger and sleepless nights. When it comes to learning the hard way, you can get to know a great deal about men, love, sex and relationships, but most women who have traveled that path will tell you, “The price is too high and the consequences and lingering effects are way to painful!” Smart women understand this irrefutable truth.

1. There are two types of males: Dishonorable males and honorable men. Don’t date or marry until you know how to tell the difference between the two! The woman in the mirror will graciously thank you.

3. You are not a car; if you meet a man who wants to test drive your physical body, emotions and feelings, point him to a car dealership, bid him adieu and don’t look back!

8. Women who hold grudges, seek vengeance, cling to bitterness and are unwilling to forgive, unwittingly break their own hearts!

12. Self-love: if you don’t have it, pull yourself off the market. Make no mistake about it, if you don’t love yourself, NO MAN can ever love you… no matter how great a man he is.

17. You are not a man! Therefore, you will never be: a role model for men, a father figure, a man’s mentor or a man’s coach. If a man has lacked proper male leadership in his life, kindly send him on his way. Know for a certainty; he is not prepared for the responsibilities that come with love, sex, relationship and marriage.

19. Don’t ever delude yourself! Your beauty, fine body, sexual prowess, cooking skills, femininity and vibrant personality will never be enough to change a man, NEVER!

21. Angry, bitter, hostile, combative, unforgiving single women, become: angry, bitter, hostile and combative, unforgiving wives.

24. When a man is trying to find himself, kindly bid him adieu… PERMANENTLY! He can find you, but can’t find himself? He shouldn’t be looking for love… he should be searching for the map to Mastering Manhood!

29. All men ARE NOT dogs! Don’t believe, repeat or perpetuate that rampant lie! You will hamper your ability to see and discern the good men who cross your path!

32. Never allow emotionally embittered women to influence you concerning the male gender. If you do, their hatred and unforgiveness will become yours. Soon you will find yourself suspicious, indignant and angry at all men.

40. Nothing is more beautiful, captivating, attractive and sensual than a woman with a gentle and peaceable spirit!

P.S. There is a male version of the article as well, and I found it interesting how much more succinct and to-the-point the advice was. Figures.

Sex Sells, Female Chauvinism, etc.

I finally came in to the salon today to chop off a good amount of my hair and almost every girl I know that's done it can agree with me when I say there is something liberating in doing it - my hair isn't SHORT short right now, but I haven't had this length since the 5th grade so it definitely feels like a big step for me. My hair just got too long and bothersome so I wanted to prepare for the summer, but cutting it also feels like getting rid of extra baggage or removing a big weight off your shoulders. It's especially liberating when a big standard of beauty nowadays is a girl with long, flowy hair; a girl doesn't even have to be that cute in the face but if she has pretty hair guys will automatically go ga-ga for her, so in that sense chopping it off can be like an "I just don't give a fck" to that stereotype. I wish I had enough guts to rock a pixie cut or something, who knows maybe someday.

Another thing I wanted to get to are some observations I made after flipping through a Japanese beauty magazine. Everyone knows how female beauty standards are forced upon women in society here in America, but wow looking through those magazines made me realize other parts of the world are just as bad. Every single girl in the magazine had hair that was a medium shade of brown, the same pale color of skin, the same makeup, but I think the worst part about it was the obsession with having big eyes. Double-eyelid surgery is actually very common nowadays in parts of Asia, to the point where although it is plastic surgery, there's no taboo associated with it. Even if the girls didn't get surgery to achieve this look, there were plenty of advertisements for products that give the extra crease for the eye, like this one.

I don't really get it. I understand cosmetic enhancements such as make-up and hair color, but glue for your eyes to make your skin stick together? I find it really sad to be quite honest. Especially if an underlying reason for it is Asian standards trying to conform to Western standards.

The last thing I wanted to bring up was the thin line between sexy & trashy. Last year I religiously watched that Search for the Pussycat Dolls Show (I can't tell if that makes me cool or lame), but I was only able to catch a few episodes of this season of Girlicious. I actually think most of the girls who made it into the group are really gorgeous and from what I saw on the show they were talented, but I was surprised when I saw one of their first official videos. With a name like "Girlicious", you'd think they'd cater to a younger audience than PCD and be, well, really girly. I was wrong. Here's the "Stupid Shit" video I'm talking about:

I know girls want to be sexy and all, but it's just a little bit too much for me. I'm not even sure what their demographic is supposed to be - their stuff doesn't seem old enough for college kids, but then again I don't see the parents of 12-year olds wanting to rush out and buy tickets for their daughters to see a show like that. The blond one Nichole was soo cute on the show, and now that baby prostitute vibe just seems to be coming back to haunt me in this video. I will give them one thing though - they seem to market themselves as exactly what they are and are not trying to hide behind a cookie-cutter facade, so I can at least respect them for that.

I don't know, I don't want to keep ragging on stuff like this because apparently it makes me seem like a hater. Or if I say what's on my mind about these things I'm just jealous. Riiiiight. But really, is it that my views on this stuff are just "not with the times" anymore? Am I a prude? Is it bad that some things people consider "empowering for women" I want to call "misogynistic?" I have to draw the line somewhere, but I just don't know where to start anymore.

This book will be on my must-read list in the near future:

"Meet the Female Chauvinist Pig - the new brand of 'empowered woman' who wears the Playboy bunny as a talisman, bares all for Girls Gone Wild, pursues casual sex as if it were a sport, and embraces 'raunch culture' wherever she finds it. If male chauvinist pigs of years past thought of women as pieces of meat, Female Chauvinist Pigs of today are doing them one better, making sex objects of other women - and of themselves. They think they're being brave, they think they're being funny, but in Female Chauvinist Pigs, New York magazine writer Ariel Levy asks if the joke is on them..."