I still need Whoopi to explain the difference between "rape" & "rape-rape"

...I'm still SMH over that one.

Anyways, I can always rely on ONTD for some fun reads about unnecessary celebrity bullshit, but every once in a while I come across something that's a bit more thought-provoking than the latest candids of Kim Kardashian promoting her latest weight-loss product. It reminded me of this article about rape culture I read a while back - I'm sharing it now since I don't remember if I ever linked it from my blog before this.

Case in point.

And now - Sexual Assault Prevention Tips Guaranteed to Work! (Via Feminally)

1. Don't put drugs in people's drinks in order to control their behavior.

2. When you see someone walking by themselves, leave them alone!

3. If you pull over to help someone with car problems, remember not to assault them!

4. NEVER open an unlocked door or window uninvited.

5. If you are in an elevator and someone else gets in, DON'T ASSAULT THEM!

6. Remember, people go to laundry to do their laundry, do not attempt to molest someone who is alone in a laundry room.

7. USE THE BUDDY SYSTEM! If you are not able to stop yourself from assaulting people, ask a friend to stay with you while you are in public.

8. Always be honest with people! Don't pretend to be a caring friend in order to gain the trust of someone you want to assault. Consider telling them you plan to assault them. If you don't communicate your intentions, the other person may take that as a sign that you do not plan to rape them.

9. Don't forget: you can't have sex with someone unless they are awake!

10. Carry a whistle! If you are worried you might assault someone "on accident" you can hand it to the person you are with, so they can blow it if you do.

And, ALWAYS REMEMBER: if you didn't ask permission and then respect the answer the first time, you are committing a crime- no matter how "into it" others appear to be.

It Had to Be Said

My favorite Twilight-related thing ever, although that may not be saying much.

"In this remixed narrative Edward Cullen from the Twilight Series meets Buffy the Vampire Slayer at Sunnydale High. It's an example of transformative storytelling serving as a critique of Edward's character and generally creepy behavior. Through Buffy's eyes some of the more patriarchal gender roles and sexist Hollywood tropes embedded in the Twilight saga are exposed in hilarious ways."

Give me a break

I never really had a chance to discuss my thoughts on Slut! after I read it a while back but if there was one thing that I took away from it, it would be to refrain from labeling someone a "slut" or "whore" based on how they carry themselves or what you may have heard. If I hear you say something really idiotic, will I maybe judge you as being a little empty-headed? Perhaps.  If you make some smart-ass comment and see you belittle people for the hell of it, will I think you might be a bitch? I'll admit, sometimes. But as for calling someone a slut based on an outfit or two, I think I'm over that.

I'm just a little sick and tired of these damn double standards. Yes, we all know that ladies don't need to show a lot of skin to be considered sexy.  But does that mean it's okay to punish any woman that chooses to do so anyways? I just think it's hilarious how one minute a man will tell a female, "You know, you'll probably warrant some unwanted attention with that outfit, you might want to reconsider" then follow up with an oh-so-ironic "but damn by the way you look really sexy like that". So what is it society, do you want your women pure or do you want them sexy? You say you want both, but if a woman isn't sexy, you will pick her looks apart because apparently she's busted and unwanted. If a woman isn't pure, it's somehow okay to crucify her because we've been brought up to have no sympathy towards those "bad" girls. 

The worst part of this situation for me is how often the blame is brought upon the female if something happens to her. If a female catches a man's eye and he decides to disrespect her, some people will say she had it coming. Riiight. Just like how women in domestic abuse cases must have done something to instigate her own beating? Or how some rape victims had it coming to them because of their established reputation? Yes, there are some girls out there who put themselves out there with the sole purpose of garnering stares and catcalls who spoil it for the rest of us. But if a man decides to disrespect a woman, I don't think the main problem is the woman's choice of how she decided to portray her body - the problem is how that man thinks harassing a female is permissible, for whatever reason. The problem is how women are also quick to punish each other for being sexual. 

Just think about it.

It's October and It's Still Hot

I feel some kind of obligation to write on here since I haven't done so in a while, even if the content is random or irrelevant. Basically, I feel like I've been literally 9-to-5ing it with school and work almost everyday for a little over a year now (including all of summer) and I'm a little tired right now. Just a little bit.

That isn't necessarily a bad thing I guess. So far I've been keeping up with homework and labs, and even readings - I'll admit I barely opened my textbooks last year, so this is a good change. On top of that, I made a deal with myself that with every payday, I have to buy 1-2 new books for leisure reading (yes, FOR FUN). My book collection up here at the apartment has been looking dumpy to me, so I decided to change that as well. A couple days ago I picked up Slut! by Leora Tanenbaum, which basically talks about sexual stereotyping and the old double standard; it's a little funny because just recently I was realizing how much I started to hate that word. I also picked out Choke by Chuck Palahniuk, author of Fight Club, and I'll let you know how that turns out later. Or you could just go out and watch the upcoming movie, your choice, just keep in mind how that turned out for I Am Legend.

I've also been trying to keep up with the election, and I'm pretty excited to exercise my right to vote this time around since I barely missed the last Presidential one by about a month. My views on that will be saved for another time as well.

Finally here's a little chart from Slut! that I though was interesting, although nothing new.

Positive expressions for a sexually active man:
stud, player, stallion, ladies' man, the man, Romeo, Don Juan, Cassanova, bounder, gigolo, lover, lover boy/man, pimp

Negative Expressions for a sexually active man:
womanizer, wolf, dog, pig, "cant keep it in his pants"

Positive expressions for a sexually active woman:
hot, sexy

Negative expressions for a sexully active woman:
slut, whore, tramp, ho, bitch, hoochie, pig, prostitute, hooker, nympho, harlot, hussy, tart, bimbo, floozy, vixen, minx, loose woman, fallen woman, vamp, wench, slattern, Jezebel, strumpet, skank, sleaze, slag, sexpot, streetwalker, slore

Dear Disney,

I was right there with you during the Miley Cyrus Vanity Fair fiasco. You reprimanded her for a photoshoot which was inappropriate for someone her age and with her being in the spotlight with so much influence over your viewers (or more importantly, being one of your most important cash cows), you made sure she would make better decisions to uphold her image as a "role model".

An even older example of Disney starlets gone wild is the BBV scandal, which I'm sure I don't really need to say much about. But you didn't really say anything about that, and at the time I thought I could let this slide as well.

So I was really surprised to hear that you play the new Jesse McCartney video on your channel. Haha, Jesse McCartney, harmless right?



First of all, one of the opening shots is of the girl in the video with her pants already unbuttoned. Then there's the laying on top of each other on the bed, untying of the bra, fooling around in the back of the car, the obvious sexual tension throughout the entire video...

If you're going to give Miley Cyrus shit about her pictures (I'm not even a huge fan of her), then at least don't half ass it and actually impose your "wholesome only" policy to everything else on the network. I don't think of myself as a prude and hell I even like the song - in a guilty pleasure sorta way of course - and I don't have a problem with the video, but I do have a problem with it playing on your channel if you're going to be a hypocrite about it.

Sometimes I think trying to shove this wholesome image down our throats just backfires. Take for example Disney stars such as the Jonas Brothers and Selena Gomez openly talking about their purity rings and how they are saving themselves for marriage. I think if you want to wait until marriage to have sex, than by all means go for it, props to you for standing by your beliefs. But to have 12 year olds make a purity pledge and talk about it in public? First of all, no 12-year old needs to be thinking about this sort of stuff anyways. Making a 12-year old promise on a decision about an issue they don't even really know about doesn't make sense to me. Second of all, especially if you're a pre-teen, no one needs to know your business about your sex/lack-of-it life. Making your stars talk about such issues only sexualizes them more in my eyes. But whatever, it's as if it's in your guys' contract to say this stuff.

No love,
Me