Case of the Holiday Blues

I've been in a holiday funk, and I can't seem to get out of it. Reasons not necessarily unknown but not entirely concrete either. Relatively speaking I think I've got it pretty good & I'm at a good place in my life right now - however it's only inevitable during the holidays to also think about what you've been missing out on as you reflect on everything that's transpired this past year & the things you're thankful for.

I'm usually good at focusing on the brighter side of things, but I will allow myself to emo-it-out just once in this post. It's gotta come out sometime. With that being said:

-I feel like I let people step over me too much. I've always accepted the fact that sometimes I'm "too nice" but I'm going to grow a bigger backbone ffs. Not going to blame anyone but myself for this one though.

-Lately I haven't been able to do my own thing or call my own shots without someone acting as an obstacle to my independence.

-Experienced losing someone close to me really for the first time this year.

-People I thought I could always rely on & would have my back... some of them proved me wrong. I already have a tough time trusting people. Bummer.

-To put it in the most pathetic terms possible, sometimes it's like feeling lonely without actually being alone.

This could be due to a lot of things. Leaving the college life behind and finally putting it behind me. Work schedule, less free time, including not being on vacation anymore while everyone else is. Nagging family members that make it seem like it's never enough. Just realizing your relationships with some "friends" aren't what they used to be.

But enough of that! Definitely not going to feel sorry for myself, especially going into the New Year. This year has had its shortcomings but like I said, there are many things to be thankful for. I just needed to get some things off my chest to release this negativity and am now leaving it behind with 2009. I'm ready for 2010.

Oh yeah, and as some of you know I'm pretty good at hiding my emotions. So don't be fooled :]

Setting the bar

So now that things are a little different for me now in terms of lifestyle, free time, etc., I thought I should set myself some new goals. These are ongoing, and I don't want to set a deadline for any of them, but I need some new stuff to look forward to and work towards these days.

1. Work on time management. Don't try to cram too much stuff in one day.

2. Specifically make some time for the gym. And if possible, reading.

3. To compensate lack of gym time -> eat healthier.

4. Getting a decent night of sleep each day is a must.

5. Get a new damn phone!

6. Apply for a credit card/build credit (I know, I'm late on that)

7. Save, save, save $$$. Avoid splurging. Forreal.

8. When the time is right (?), move out of the house

...

573. Buy myself a Marc Jacobs bag :/

Hello, Goodbye

So it's official - in less than 2 weeks, I start the next chapter in my life as a fulltime working woman.

Hello to more moola & all that comes with it, including more responsibility. I think I did pretty well in college managing my finances, but now it's time to get serious. I will do my best to try & refrain from splurging on unnecessary luxuries, even though I'll have some leeway since I won't have too much to pay for while I'm living at home; I need to keep my focus on establishing my own place instead of designer purses or more clothes that I won't have room for in my closet anyways. Although I do need to revamp my daily wardrobe to business casual attire. Fun.

Then there's the hard part: goodbye. To lazy summer days. Spontaneous weekday adventures. Sleeping in. Real vacations. Not doing anything because I feel like it. Wasting any free time that I have. Gah I just I don't get burned out too fast. Wish me luck.

It's funny how I've just been dying to land this job for the last couple weeks and now that I finally did it, I focus not on what I'll be gaining but rather what I'll have to give up. It's that damned if you do, damned if you don't feeling. Haha but really, I'm not complaining. Time to conquer my next mountain...

Oh and if you're wondering where I'll commence my journey into the "real world", it's here.

"Friends forever, with you everywhere"

So it's been almost a week since we've moved out of 198. It didn't really start to sink in until the last couple of days when I would wake up in my room & not be as excited because I had no roomies to say good morning/afternoon to. And there was the lack of awesome late night snacks that I had grown accustom to, like some moons over my hammy or mini tacos.

But like they say, good things don't last forever, and I feel pretty lucky to have been one of the 198 residents for 3 years. I don't know too many people that can say they lived with the same roommates in the same apartment for as long as we did. Anyways, to remember the happier times and since Mel posted her share of 198 pics, here are some of mine:

Move-in day during the summer

Derek's birthday at Roger's house 2nd year. G's.

My 21st bday. No group pic, but everyone helped pitch in & I had lots of fun, so thanks guys.

Brent Bash during 3rd year.

A 198 Christmas, 3rd year.

Happy 21st Lance!

Doin' Vegas, winter break of last year.

At my graduation <3

Moving out...

I'll keep this short, so I just want to say thanks to Mel, Lance, Brent, & Derek, and to everyone who's ever visited us the past 3 years to make my 198 experience the best that it could have been :]